Thursday, 10 May 2012
Been wearing glasses for the past 2 days, not because my eyes are infected or anything but because there were no lessons at all. I feel super on form whenever I have my glasses on, but all I do is waste my time away on sinful shopping sites. Ever since I got my debit cards, I don't even think much when I want to buy an app...and I bought Polamatic just yesterday. It's kinda works up to expectations, so money is well spent.
Earlier today, I went to OCBC bank just a stone throw away from my house to make an account with them. I should have made one a long long time ago, since it's so near, it's convenient. If you haven't already know, FRANK debit card designs are now free until 31 May, so hurry up! I chose HeART Felt for mine. And the reason for choosing it was because "I'm a heart over head person".
There are a whole lot more to choose from http://frankbyocbc.com go check it out and get yours for free too! I would love to own more than a card if possible, and oh shit, I forgot to ask the consultant if that's legit. :(
Sunday, 6 May 2012
Listen to this while reading this post.
This was me, trying to check on myself, to see if I looked okay. To avoid looking tired and most importantly, to look happy. I remember how I kept asking if I looked happy, cos I couldn't tell it myself.
I was supposed to be happy though. The weather was great and lesson ended early. Although having lessons on Fridays are UGH, but crazy classmates that crack me up can offset everything. I took a stupid video of him doing stupid shit, but he forced me to delete...so I'm only left with this. Still stupid.
And in return, this is my stupid picture. I forgot what I was doing, I think the project charter thingy, but I couldn't concentrate at all, so we had to postpone.
Next, we had lunch at my favourite Eighteen Chefs, because they're so nice to let me choose where to eat. :')
Followed by an awesome Avengers movie at Century Square with the boys, cos it's a boy boy show anyway. I was spamming questions about what is this and what is that in the beginning, until I fell asleep for awhile, BUT THE ENDING WAS REALLY AWESOME! Trust me.
Since I was reluctant to go home, I went to Starbucks and had XH to accompany me. Super nice of him, or maybe he was bored too, but he's still nice cos he's always there to save my sorry ass on too many occasions. I had a cup of chocolate crumble, but it's too sweet to me, and I still prefer dark mocha's bittersweet taste.
I went to take all of their brochures and awed at their brochure designs. My favourite has got to be the "Find the roast you love most" brochure. After settling down, I updated my resume and checked my email. One of the email made me super stressful and XH is always laughing at me + very bo chup, making me even more stressful and depressed.
While making our way to have dinner, we passed by the atrium and saw...
Hush Puppies sales!!! I went to take pictures and sent them to Lydia cos I know she will definitely like them. I don't know if I'm a good/bad friend, but according to XH, I'm a bad friend. He even went to take a super shitty unglam picture of me and sent it to Lydia with the caption "bad friend". Then I received this, hahah super nonsense.
While XH was eating, I was already half dead. I even almost forgot to buy a cake for Geik's birthday, but thankfully I remembered anyway. I bought her some cuteass macarons, which is not of the usual mini size.
Lime It Up and Mango Munch! Cute shit is cute. :)
I was struggling with carrying my laptop and the macarons cos I'm weak like that. While waiting for the bus, I almost died, not physically but mentally. 50% of me didn't want to turn up, but another 50% was asked to, by my friends. "Go only", you all really think it's that easy. I regretted.
All my happiness I had before was destroyed again. I'm ruin/ruining/ruined.
Thursday, 3 May 2012
Since lesson starts at 3pm tomorrow, I thought of blogging before heading to bed.
I've been talking to my parents a lot recently, like telling them almost everything about me and my happenings. I even told dad about whatever that happened last Friday...he said that I shouldn't cry and something else which I couldn't remember. When I was being told that I shouldn't cry, I almost went crazy. My mind kept thinking...I'm upset, why can't I cry?
After deeper thoughts and stuff...I remembered what dad told me before about the best kind of people is those that don't show their emotions, so nobody can tell if he/she is happy/sad. Then I reflect back on what happened again. It's like, I allowed EVERY SINGLE ONE to see my weak side, and I'm definitely deemed as a weak piece of shit in their eyes. Which is not good, because people tend to take advantage of and treat weak piece of shit as pushovers.
I've been a pushover all my life, just because I show all of my emotions. It's not hard to tell what I'm feeling, I mean with all the social media shit these days, it's even easier than ever. Like now, I'm blogging out all my stupid feelings, which is bad bad bad bad bad.
*Cues bad song.
Tuesday, 1 May 2012
I'm just gonna anyhow start and anyhow end this post.
My blog is super lag from my life, but anyway, here are some recent pictures of me after a haircut.
Friday, 27 April 2012
I don't know who else to turn to...
I don't know what did I do to deserve this.
I don't know what to do from here on.
I don't know where to go.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Sitting on the other end of the concourse and a lot of "I don't know" thoughts came to my mind. Contact lens are gonna fall out soon due to excessive crying. I said that I will just suck it up if I don't get to change my timetable, but I'm not doing what I said. Maybe because there was hope given to me, hope about having a suitable candidate to swap timetable with me, but in the end it turns out to be back to square one. It's always the hope given to me that causes so much hurt.
When will I stop hoping...
I know I missed out 4 hours of lab on Monday, and since there's the same lab lesson on Friday which is today, I decided to crash their class hoping to catch up on what I've missed. God knows why did I have such a badass tummyache last night but I still forced myself to go to school when I'm not supposed to have any lesson. The tummyache lasted till morning, and my dad was asking me to stay at home all, but I still insisted on going to school.
While I was on my way to school, I gave an ahma $1 to take bus and I was feeling quite happy to have been able to help her, even though she asked for $2 which I don't have. I always thought doing good deeds will accumulate good karma for me, but no. When I reached school, it was almost 9am, I speed walk like crazy. I entered the lab and the lecturer was already there, so I talked to her regarding this matter and the conversation wasn't a good one.
More bad news arrived soon after the conversation ended...I couldn't take the blow and I broke down. I just sat alone on the floor behind the lab and feeling so lost. The last thing you should ever give me is hope, I don't even wanna be optimistic about anything anymore so the hurt will be lesser than ever.
I know everyone around me have been trying to help me, and for that I'm super thankful. From the tissue paper, to the search of another suitable candidate, to the hug, to the random concern, to the hot milo. All the love from the korkors jiejie <3
It's quite sad how the first week of school has got to end this way...
Cheeky geeky
Been wearing glasses for the past 2 days, not because my eyes are infected or anything but because there were no lessons at all. I feel super on form whenever I have my glasses on, but all I do is waste my time away on sinful shopping sites. Ever since I got my debit cards, I don't even think much when I want to buy an app...and I bought Polamatic just yesterday. It's kinda works up to expectations, so money is well spent.
Earlier today, I went to OCBC bank just a stone throw away from my house to make an account with them. I should have made one a long long time ago, since it's so near, it's convenient. If you haven't already know, FRANK debit card designs are now free until 31 May, so hurry up! I chose HeART Felt for mine. And the reason for choosing it was because "I'm a heart over head person".
Sunday, 6 May 2012
Feel me
Listen to this while reading this post.
This was me, trying to check on myself, to see if I looked okay. To avoid looking tired and most importantly, to look happy. I remember how I kept asking if I looked happy, cos I couldn't tell it myself.
I was supposed to be happy though. The weather was great and lesson ended early. Although having lessons on Fridays are UGH, but crazy classmates that crack me up can offset everything. I took a stupid video of him doing stupid shit, but he forced me to delete...so I'm only left with this. Still stupid.
And in return, this is my stupid picture. I forgot what I was doing, I think the project charter thingy, but I couldn't concentrate at all, so we had to postpone.
Next, we had lunch at my favourite Eighteen Chefs, because they're so nice to let me choose where to eat. :')
Followed by an awesome Avengers movie at Century Square with the boys, cos it's a boy boy show anyway. I was spamming questions about what is this and what is that in the beginning, until I fell asleep for awhile, BUT THE ENDING WAS REALLY AWESOME! Trust me.
Since I was reluctant to go home, I went to Starbucks and had XH to accompany me. Super nice of him, or maybe he was bored too, but he's still nice cos he's always there to save my sorry ass on too many occasions. I had a cup of chocolate crumble, but it's too sweet to me, and I still prefer dark mocha's bittersweet taste.
I went to take all of their brochures and awed at their brochure designs. My favourite has got to be the "Find the roast you love most" brochure. After settling down, I updated my resume and checked my email. One of the email made me super stressful and XH is always laughing at me + very bo chup, making me even more stressful and depressed.
While making our way to have dinner, we passed by the atrium and saw...
Hush Puppies sales!!! I went to take pictures and sent them to Lydia cos I know she will definitely like them. I don't know if I'm a good/bad friend, but according to XH, I'm a bad friend. He even went to take a super shitty unglam picture of me and sent it to Lydia with the caption "bad friend". Then I received this, hahah super nonsense.
While XH was eating, I was already half dead. I even almost forgot to buy a cake for Geik's birthday, but thankfully I remembered anyway. I bought her some cuteass macarons, which is not of the usual mini size.
Lime It Up and Mango Munch! Cute shit is cute. :)
I was struggling with carrying my laptop and the macarons cos I'm weak like that. While waiting for the bus, I almost died, not physically but mentally. 50% of me didn't want to turn up, but another 50% was asked to, by my friends. "Go only", you all really think it's that easy. I regretted.
There I was again tonight, forcing laughter, faking smiles.
All my happiness I had before was destroyed again. I'm ruin/ruining/ruined.
Thursday, 3 May 2012
Cos I want it bad
Since lesson starts at 3pm tomorrow, I thought of blogging before heading to bed.
I've been talking to my parents a lot recently, like telling them almost everything about me and my happenings. I even told dad about whatever that happened last Friday...he said that I shouldn't cry and something else which I couldn't remember. When I was being told that I shouldn't cry, I almost went crazy. My mind kept thinking...I'm upset, why can't I cry?
After deeper thoughts and stuff...I remembered what dad told me before about the best kind of people is those that don't show their emotions, so nobody can tell if he/she is happy/sad. Then I reflect back on what happened again. It's like, I allowed EVERY SINGLE ONE to see my weak side, and I'm definitely deemed as a weak piece of shit in their eyes. Which is not good, because people tend to take advantage of and treat weak piece of shit as pushovers.
I've been a pushover all my life, just because I show all of my emotions. It's not hard to tell what I'm feeling, I mean with all the social media shit these days, it's even easier than ever. Like now, I'm blogging out all my stupid feelings, which is bad bad bad bad bad.
*Cues bad song.
Tuesday, 1 May 2012
Turnover
I'm just gonna anyhow start and anyhow end this post.
Well, the Taiwan trip was not bad, gained pretty much from it. Not material wise, but knowledge wise. Many pretty pictures and a video waiting for me to edit, compile and upload! But it's not gonna happen anytime soon...sadly huh.
First week of school didn't turn out to be what it was like from my last post, somehow someone saved me and I've been thanking that person for countless times. I can't imagine what would happen if I was just left there in the lurch...since it's like me against the world now. It really takes a great fall to know where you stand, and it did make me see clearly certain things.
I'm only blogging now because it's public holiday, and I have some time to spare before I head to bed. It's been a productive day, I bought 2 pairs of shoes and 2 bags. Oh I meant, I finished what I had planned to do, and have spare time to squeeze out somemore, so it's productive lah. :)
My blog is super lag from my life, but anyway, here are some recent pictures of me after a haircut.
Friday, 27 April 2012
Bring me back
I don't know who else to turn to...
I don't know what did I do to deserve this.
I don't know what to do from here on.
I don't know where to go.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Sitting on the other end of the concourse and a lot of "I don't know" thoughts came to my mind. Contact lens are gonna fall out soon due to excessive crying. I said that I will just suck it up if I don't get to change my timetable, but I'm not doing what I said. Maybe because there was hope given to me, hope about having a suitable candidate to swap timetable with me, but in the end it turns out to be back to square one. It's always the hope given to me that causes so much hurt.
When will I stop hoping...
I know I missed out 4 hours of lab on Monday, and since there's the same lab lesson on Friday which is today, I decided to crash their class hoping to catch up on what I've missed. God knows why did I have such a badass tummyache last night but I still forced myself to go to school when I'm not supposed to have any lesson. The tummyache lasted till morning, and my dad was asking me to stay at home all, but I still insisted on going to school.
While I was on my way to school, I gave an ahma $1 to take bus and I was feeling quite happy to have been able to help her, even though she asked for $2 which I don't have. I always thought doing good deeds will accumulate good karma for me, but no. When I reached school, it was almost 9am, I speed walk like crazy. I entered the lab and the lecturer was already there, so I talked to her regarding this matter and the conversation wasn't a good one.
More bad news arrived soon after the conversation ended...I couldn't take the blow and I broke down. I just sat alone on the floor behind the lab and feeling so lost. The last thing you should ever give me is hope, I don't even wanna be optimistic about anything anymore so the hurt will be lesser than ever.
I know everyone around me have been trying to help me, and for that I'm super thankful. From the tissue paper, to the search of another suitable candidate, to the hug, to the random concern, to the hot milo. All the love from the korkors jiejie <3
It's quite sad how the first week of school has got to end this way...
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